Moths
by xxxxxAnimePsychoGirlxxxxx
Summary: "Our lives are pointless." She sighed out. He kissed her temple. "Even like this?"
1. Chapter 1

**Moths**

**Ch. 1: Watermelon kisses**

"It's just a simple cleaning assignment Mikasa, there's no need to be so stubborn." Erwin said, following behind Mikasa as she stormed off to her room. "It's just for a few days."

"I will not spend my free time with that midget cleaning!" She protested turning a corner. "He'll just bitch at me the entire time that 'Brat, you misses a spot' 'Brat, you're doing it wrong' I'm not gonna put up with it."

"It's one of your assignments." Erwin tried to reason with her as she slammed the wood door on his face. "You have to."

"That's another thing." She said reopening the door. "How is cleaning up some old house helping humanity?"

"It's the house our squad will be living in, so we need to have it cleaned out and ready for when we start moving in. We need a place where all of us can live and keep an eye on Eren."

He had gotten her there. She would do anything to protect her adoptive brother, even if it meant spending her day off cleaning with Levi Heichou.

She lets out a long sigh. "Fine but I'm not going to be nice to him."

Erwin smiles. "I didn't expect you would be."

* * *

It was a hot summer day as Mikasa stood in front of the old log cabin. At two stories it was larger then most, able to hold the entire squad, and it would take a lot of effort to clean. She waited in the shade of a tree for Levi's arrival. 'Eren and Armin are training with the Titan dummies, Hanji is with Erwin counting supplies, and Everyone else is doing whatever they want with their days off. Meanwhile I'll be stuck with the shorty.'

Mikasa was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn't notice the man in question until he was standing only a few feet away from her, dressed in a simple uniform minus the jacket ad maneuvering gear, and cloth covering his mouth and hair. "Oi, brat, let's get to work."

She sighed heavily before moving from her spot at the tree. He handed her a bucket filled with soapy water, and a hand brush. "You take care of scrubbing the floors and I'll do the dusting."

"Why should I do the scrubbing, you're closer to the ground?" Mikasa asked in defiance.

Levi glared at her. "Because I told you to."

"It'll be more work for me because the dust will get on the ground and adds to the mess."

"Just deal with it."

"No!"

They went into a stare down, getting close to one another as a form of intimidation. So close that Mikasa could see the color of the corporals eyes, a steel grey that shone in the morning sun. A blush found its way across her cheeks and she turned away in an effort to hide it. "Fine I'll do the damn scrubbing."

Underneath the cloth Levi smirked. Yet he couldn't help but wonder why she had conceded so much quicker then normal. 'Summer heat' he decides dismissively before turning to walk into the faith ridden home.

Mikasa lagged behind, choosing to stand out in the sun for a few minute after Levi had entered the home.

'What was that all about?' She wondered as she pulled her scarf up over her face, effectively shielding her still flushed cheeks. 'Why am I blushing around the midget?' She pushed the thoughts away as she entered the house.

As she entered she saw Levi standing in the threshold of the main entrance, eyes twitching.

"What's the matter?" She asked nonchalantly.

"This house... It's so filthy!" Levi exclaimed pointing at the cobwebs and thick layer of grime seemingly coating every surface. Mikasa grimaced, this would not be an easy job. Erwin hasn't been exaggerating when he said it would take a few days.

"Let's just get going, the less time we spend talking, the less time well have to work." Mikasa said, walking a short ways before getting onto all fours and beginning to scrub the floors. After a few seconds she felt eyes watching her. "What is it Levi?"

The corporal was silent before giving a gruff, "Nothing", then walking off into another room. Mikasa merely shrugged and continued scrubbing.

* * *

It had taken a total of six hours, but Mikasa had finally scrubbed down the floors of the entire first floor. Strangely she hadn't seen the glaring shortie the entire time. She had simple chocked it up to coincidence, but as she walked through out the house she began to think he may have left. Finally after searching the entire down stairs she when upstairs to look. She checked the room closest to the stairs, the one that would be assisted to her when they moved in, and opened the door. Levi quickly turned around with a look of surprise before shifting to his usual glare.

"What are you doing here? I thought you where working on the downstairs." He looked pensively at her. The room was spotless, a freshly made bed covered in old quilts, with a small, revarnished mahogany dresser parallel to it. A desk of the same wood and status was pushed close to the large window over looking a small thicket of trees, a rarity inside the walls. On the desk was a bouquet of assorted wild flowers.

Mikasa walked into the room slowly, taking in the sent of fresh linens and daisies. "You did all this?"

Levi scoffed. "Who else would have?"

Mikasa frowned at his quip but bit her tongue. Had Levi known this was to be her room?

"Just don't go messing it up when you move in." He had! He looked over at her, steel grey eyes boring into get chocolate brown. She felt a sort of warmth bloom inside her, and was compelled to ask him her burning question.

"Why did you do all this?"

He shrugged taking his gaze off her to look over the room. "It needed to be cleaned."

"I'm not buying that. Why did you add flowers, and revarnish the dresser and desk?" She takes a step forward, gesturing in the direction of the furniture in question.

He again shrugged. "I just wanted it to be nice."

"Why!?"

"Because I want you to have a nice room!" His voice rises slightly in volume, making her flinch at the sudden change. "Is that so strange?"

It's her turn to be silent. "I suppose not." She whispers, turning to go back down stairs, but turns her head back. "Thank you."

As she's about to head down the steps she stops, hearing determined footsteps behind her. She let out a small sigh. "What is it Le-"

His lips assaulted her, and in the moment of shock and confusion he overtook her, slamming her into the wall, the impact jarring Mikasas mouth open slightly. In that second he drove his tongue deep into her cavern, exploring every crevice. His hot muscle moved against her, eliciting a small moan from the dumbfounded woman. His strong muscle ran over her own, coaxing her to join him, and as if awaken from a dream she snapped back into reality and pushed him back, breath heavy and face flushed.

"W-What the hell Heichou!? Why did you do that!?" She yelled at him. His pupils where slightly displayed, but otherwise her was as composed as ever. He stated at her for a few seconds, and she tensed under his gaze. "Answer me!"

He continues to stare at her for a few more seconds before sighing. "Because... I can't get you out of my head Ackerman."

She cocked her head to the side in question and he continued with a grunt. "It's just... When I see you fighting, I can't keep my eyes off you, the way you move, how you strike with such passion, and the look in your eyes... "He trails off as if imagining it.

Mikasa couldn't help blushing. Had the corporal really taken such an interest in her? She had caught him staring at her a few times, but she had just thought of it as him silently scrutinizing her work. Honestly she had alway been watching him, fascinated by the way he moved, the way his muscles contorted underneath his clothes as he attacked and tore through Titan flesh. But she had been watching him closer lately. She thought it was just her taking an appreciation for the corporal after all the time they had spent together. But knowing he had been watching her as well, made her insides tingle.

"I can't stop! You do something to me, I don't know what it is." He lets out a sigh and look into her eyes. "I just had to kiss you. It won't happen again."

He walks down the stairs, and Mikasa is left alone, lips still swollen, and mind confused .

The rest of the day they had avoided each other. In the larger house it wasn't that hard. Mikasa had migrated to the upstairs to work on the floors, and Levi remained downstairs. She let out a long sigh.

'What is he thinking?' Was the question that plagued her mind. 'I- we-can't deal with a romantic relationship, not in this world. And even if we could, I can't, I have to take care of Eren.' Remembering her adopted brother she grasped at her scarf. 'It would never work.'

She looked through her open door as she scrubbed the hallway, the wild flowers still resting on the desk, as again she felt the strange tingling in her stomach . 'But still...'

She sighed again and averted her gaze to stare out the window of the room. The sun was setting, and she realized just how hungry she was.

_"There's a garden out back, feel free to take whatever you want." Erwin said as he read her the instructions of the task. "They should all be ready for harvest."_

Mikasa walked out back, and looked over the small garden. Tomatoes, beans, carrots, potatoes... Everything was so boring. She could make a decent soup with the ingredients, but it wouldn't be any different from what they served at the military base. Then she saw it, a large, ovular watermelon, sitting in the far corner of the garden. Mikasa smiled as she looked at the rarity. Such sweet food was usually only available to higher ups like the MP's. Picking up the monstrosity of a melon, she entered the kitchen, running cold ware over it. She scrubbed at the surface of the melon, removing all traces of dirt and grime. The cool water felt good against her warm flesh as she picked it back up and set it on a chopping board. She cut it in half with one swift motion, then again, until there was a thick, moist layer that she cut into triangular pieces, setting them in a plate. She submerged the left over fruit in cold water and smiled to herself. 'Father used to love watermelon...'

She picked up the plate, and then remembered that Levi hadn't had anything to eat either. Blushing, she began to search for him. When she didn't find him inside the house she went out the front. Sitting under the same tree she had been under that morning was Levi's still figure. She made her way over to him, swatting away flies that tried to land on the watermelon.

"What is it Ackerman?" His voice was cold as ever, and he continued to face away from her.

Inhaling she straightened her shoulders. "I... I brought some watermelon for you to eat. It's almost dinner time."

"I'm not hungry." He answered, gazed still fixed on the horizon.

She let out her breathe in a deep sigh. 'Why do I even bother?' She turned sharply on her heels and started to head back but something stopped her.

_"It'll never happen again."_

'Who said I didn't want it to happen again!?' She asked herself. All the times the corporal had dictated her life, told her what to do, he had never asked what she wanted, never bothered to see from her side. What made him so sure she didn't want this?

Mikasa stomped over to the corporal in quick long strides, causing him to look over at her. She planted herself right in front of him, watermelon held firmly in hand. "Eat." It wasn't a suggestion, it was a demand.

"I told you I'm not hung-mmph!" Mikasa cut him off, taking the opportunity to shove a slice of watermelon into Levi's mouth. Juice dribbles down his chin, and she retreated her hand as he made a swat at her.

"Just what are you trying to do!? Kill me!?" Levi spat out after he swallowed.

"You can't always tell me what to do Levi." Mikasa responded with a clear and determined voice. "I'm going to make my own choices, and I should be able to contribute into your life as you do mine. You need to eat something."

He stared at her for a few seconds stony eyed. He finally sighed grumbling before picking up a slice of watermelon. He wouldn't have admitted it to her, but he had been starving, and the sweet melon was delicious. He could see her smiling from the corner of his eye. Feeling heat pool into his cheeks he turned away. 'Stupid brat.'

"Levi... About earlier." He tensed at her words. He didn't want to remember that moment of rebellion. Rebellion against the world that had taken so much joy from his life, and how he had plunged himself into the only other person who could possibly feel the same way. He didn't want to remember the way her lips felt so soft against his chapped one, the way her voice sounded when se moaned, how her face flushed so beautifully. He just wanted to forget the stolen moment of happiness he would never be able to feel again. "Who said it never had to happen again?"

He turned to face her fully, his eyes widening a fraction. 'What did she say?'

"I mean... There's not a lot we can take pleasure from in this world, and if we can find pleasure in each other..." She blushes but her eyes and voice where still determined. "Then why not?"

He stared at her suspiciously, and then leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't nearly as needy as it had been before, but it was deep, and when his tongue ran over hers she joined him in an intertwined dance, the two muscles pressing against each other fighting for dominance. He tasted like the watermelon he had been eating, sweet. After a few minute Levi picked Mikasa up, a small yelp escaping her lips. Kicking the door in he proceeded to head up the stairs, tossing her into the bed in her room.

He looked down at her, lust swirling in his eyes as he hovered over her. He removed his cravat and shirt, then unwrapped her scarf and began assaulting her neck with nips and kisses. She dragged her nails along his back, up to his hair, tugging at the strands. His hands swiftly unbuttoned her shirt and pulls down her pants, leaving her in just her underwear. He moved down, dipping his tongue into her navel while unhooking her bra with one hand and pulling down her underwear with the other, releasing her perk breasts, followed by her womanhood.

"L-Levi!" She moaned, arching into his touch as he sucked her right nipple. He smirked, running his tongue in small circles over the tip. Letting out a soft moan Mikasa pushed him onto his back. Quickly pulling down is pants an boxers exposing his throbbing member. He hissed as she began to slowly pump with one hand and run her tongue over the slit.

"Quit playing around Ackerman." Levi groaned as she sucked hard on his head. She started taking him inch by inch until she was deep throating him, then came up and back down, repeating the motion and gaining speed. He growled as he came close to his climax. Pulling Mikasa onto his lap he put the head of his member to the opening of her sex.

"Ready Mikasa?" She shivered at hearing him say her first name, breath coming out in short burst as she nodded viciously.

He entered her with one quick thrust, a sharp inhale from Mikasa held him as he was sheathed inside her. "Keep...going!"

Upon her command her began to slowly exit and reenter her, keeping up a steadily increasing pace. "F-Faster!"

Again he followed her command, tossing her into her back as he thrusts into her repeatedly, her legs wrapping around his hips and arms wrapping around his neck.

"Mikasa, you're so tight." Levi whispered in her ear huskily. Lust coated his voice like a thick syrup. "This is your first time isn't it?"

"Sh-shut-A-Ah!-up!" Mikasa protested, shrieks of pleasure breaking her words. "O-Oh! L-Levi I'm gonna c-cu-"

"Me too Mikasa, let's cum together." Levi finished, diving in to kiss her deeply, thrusting a few more times before Mikasas inner walls began to spasm and squeeze around him, cum and specks of blood leaking from her entrance. She arced her back and opened her mouth in a silent scream of pleasure as she had her first ever orgasm. Feeling her tighten around him Levi came inside her, a shudder of ecstasy running up his spine.

He layed on top of her for a while, flaccid cock still inside her, caressing her cheek as she wrapped hers around his neck, rubbed circles in his back. A thin sheet of sweat covered both of them as their heavy breathing turned back to normal and he finally rolled off her to the side, blood and cum still leaking from her entrance. Levi looked at the messy sheets in disgust. "I'll have to clean them again..."

Mikasa kicked the sheets off the bed and pressed her face to his chest. "That was nice." She hummed smiling into his warm flesh.

He smiled, a genuine smile, and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her close. "We'll have to do it again soon."

"I wanna sleep now." She whispered to him tiredly. He pulled an old quilt over the two of them then replaced his arms around her. He kissed her gently on the forehead, before drifting into a deep slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

**Moths**

**Ch. 2: What are Dreams?**

He awoke to inky black hair, that poured over the canvas of her beautiful face. Thin eyebrow, delicate lashes shielding those onyx eyes that held more depth to them then any sea. A round nose, and full pink lips, slightly swollen from the abusive treatment they had reviewed last night. The only imperfection was the small scar below her right eye. He liked it though, it showed she had struggled in life, despite how much she tried to hide it behind an emotionless stare and cold words.

He ran his thumb over her skin, calloused hands meeting the tender flesh. She's beautiful, and her imperfections only made her more beautiful. Levi shakes his head. 'Its stupid to think like that, beauty doesn't matter in this world.'

He considered getting up and taking a shower in the bathroom across the hall, but decided against it for fear of waking her and ruining the picturesque image. Instead he took the time to observe the way her hair fell from the top of her head to land in the crook of her neck, the roll of her shoulder and drop of her waist rising to her hips and falling again to a thigh, then a calf, ankle, finally to the smallest toe. He traced his finger over every curve, stopping to gently thumb pale scars left from her battles.

"Having fun?"

He rose his gaze to meet her playful and still sleepy eyes.

"Yes, in fact I am." He responded, smirking.

"I had a dream." Mikasa whispered, nuzzling into his chest.

"What about?" He asked, enjoying the warmth her body brought.

"We where in a different world." She whispered, closing her eyes to relive the dream. "There weren't any Titans, or walls, or starving people. There wasn't any need for people to die, and the monarchy was fair to all people. I dreamed of the ocean, a beautiful body of water larger then any other, and sandy shores that stretched for miles. It felt so real, the warmth of the sun, the smell of the breeze, the happiness I felt..."

She let out a sigh, and Levi furrowed his brow.

"I've never had a dream like that before..." She looks up at him. "What do you think it means?"

He thought for a second. Levi only ever had nightmares, dreams of people being eaten alive, blown to pieces by miss aimed cannons, humans cutting into another humans flesh. Then he'd wake up and realize they weren't dreams but memorize.

"Dreams are a part of our subconscious. A lot of times they mean something we feel that we don't consciously realize... At least that's what Hanji says." He added a small shrug at the end. "Maybe your dream is a prediction of what's about to happen?"

She snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure that'll happen."

She sat up, not bothering to pull the sheets around her exposed breasts. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Mind if I join you?" Levi asked nonchalantly.

He had expected her to deny, but when he saw her give a tight nod, looking away from him, he followed her into the small shower. The hot water was a god send and as he was about to reach for the soap when she stopped him taking it in her hand instead.

"Let me?" It was a whispered question.

As the steam pooled around them his vision was obscured but he saw her blush lightly, though it could have simply been the heat. Part of him wanted to deny, knowing he could do a more thorough job then her, but a larger part of him ached for her touch, so with a nod he let go of his cleanly habits for that moment and allowed himself the pleasure.

She rubbed the soap in between her hands for a few seconds before placing it down and resting her hands on his chest, moving down to his abs. She dipped her finger into his navel and he noted her remembering such an often forgotten place. She spread the suds over his shoulders, massaging the tight muscles, a small groan escaped him.

"Turn around." Mikasa directed.

"Can't, there's not enough room." Levi smirked. It was an obvious lie, as the shower was quite roomy. Mikasa glared at him. "You can easily reach my back if you come a little closer."

Mikasa left out a soft "humph" but it was lost in the sound of water hitting the tile floor. She reached her arms over his shoulders, trying to keep her chest off his. Yet she could only reach more then half way down his back before she had to stop.

"Why so shy, last night you were practically begging for me to touch you." Levi teased, placing his hands on her hips.

"I was not." Mikasa growled, but she couldn't suppress the shiver the crept up her body from his touch. 'To hell with it.'

She moved closer, her nipples just grazing his warm chest, but the contact still left her shivering in excitement. She suddenly slammed into his, raking her nails along his back, leaving angry red marks behind. He grabbed her by her thighs, pulling her up to wrap them around his hips. His member twitched against the lips of her sex.

"Someone's eager." He whispered against her ear.

"You're one to talk!" Mikasa whined, sinking her teeth into his shoulder. He entered her slowly, careful with her aching body.

"You're still really tight, tell me am I really the first person you've had sex with?" Levi whispered before licking the shell of her ear.

Mikasa only nodded biting harder into his flesh. He let out a grunt in response but made no attempt to stop her, instead lifting her up and lowering her back down onto him.

"If you want this to feel good you're going to have to move with me."

Mikasa began lifting herself up, Levi pushing her back down with more force each time, hitting her core in the most wonderful way. Mikasa bit harder, breaking through flesh as she tried to hold back her screams of both pain and ecstasy. Levi panted out, heat pooling in his stomach. The hot water began to burn the both of them as their body temperature increased, but it only drew them closer to completion. Levi came before Mikasas, filling her with his seed as he pulled her into a savage kiss of teeth and tongues. He continued thrusting until she followed, their combined fluids dripping out to swirl down the drain.

"I th-thought you wanted to g-get clean." Mikasa panted out as she placed her feet on the ground, arms still around his neck. "N-Not more dirty."

Levi shrugged, chest slowly rising and falling. "What better place to have sex then in the shower? You get clean as you're doing it, and the remnants go right down the drain."

Mikasa chuckled, taking a step closer, but nearly fell if not for Levi quickly wrapping his arms around her waist. "You're going to have to help me out."

With one hand he turned off the water while keeping the other wrapped around her waist. He helped her out of the shower and walked her back into the room, sitting her down on the bed.

"Damn... I'm sore." Mikasa sighed.

Levi gave her a guilty look. "Sorry, I shouldn't have been so rough."

"No, I..." Mikasa blushed. "I like it rough."

Levi smirked, giving her a peck on the lips. "I'm going to do some more cleaning. You should just rest."

He rubbed her thigh in small circles. Mikasa let her eyes flutter shut, both loving and hating the feeling of protection Levi gave her.

"What's it like?"

He looked at her held up on one elbow. The breeze lifted his hair and the sun poured over his skin like a heavenly blanket.

"What's what like?" He asked her.

"What's it like to be you?"

He stared off at the sun for a while before closing his eyes.

"It's hard. There's a lot of pain, I have to give up so much, and I receive next to nothing for what I give. I have to be strong, even when nature demands that I should be weak. I've lost people I love, watched them die in ways that no one should. And I still never know what's waiting ahead, how I'll die myself, who I'll lose next...The future haunts almost a bad as the past does."

She stroked his cheek lovingly. "You're a strong man Levi."

He placed his hand over hers and kissed the palm. "Stay by my side forever Mikasa."

"Of course..."

No. No. No. No. No. No. (Italicize) NO!

No dreams like that, not feelings like that.

Mikasa sat bolt upright, heart hammering in her chest. 'Fuck good dreams, that was a nightmare!' She started shaking, grasping at the blankets around her.

(Italicizes) "Dreams are a part of our subconscious. A lot of times they mean something we feel that we don't consciously realize... "

That's what he said, that's what lots of people say, but it can't be true for this dream, it just can't be!

Mikasa had never felt that way before, not even with Eren. In the dream... Life was perfect. It felt as though all of her problems where pushed away by the warmth that radiated from his body. His voice chased away the demons of her past. His touch held together the crumbling remains that where her life. It felt nice, like she was finally alive again, after all the pain, her parents death, Erens rejection of her feelings for him, the loss of her comrades, she could breath and feel again.

"This can't be happening." She whispered to herself.

"What can't be happening?"

Mikasa nearly jumped out of her skin, but managed to keep her composer. "Nothing Levi."

He walked over and sat at the end of the bed. "You know you should really put some clothes on."

She looked down at her exposed body and blushed. "I thought you liked it."

"I do, I just don't want anyone but me to see." He moved a little closer to her an Mikasa had the strong urge to flee. Her breathing picked up and he stopped. "What's wrong Mikasa?"

She gripped the sheets tightly, her knuckles turning white. 'Can't tell him. Can't let him know. He'd laugh, he'd want to stop, he'd-'

He placed a hand on her cheek. "Mikasa?" He looked at her With concern and she felt her heart in her throat.

'He'd leave, and I won't let that happen.' She faked her best smile. "Nothing, I'm still a little sore is all."

That seemed to console him for the moment. He sighed and smiles back at her. "You should get some more rest then, I'll keep cleaning."

"I can help!" She started to get out of bed but his calloused hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Don't worry Mikasa, I've got it." He laid her back down, covering with a blanket as if she were a small child. Then he left shutting the door behind him.

Mikasa stared at the door for a long time. '... Stupid midget... I'm not falling for you.'

Levi sighed as he leaned back against the door. He has tried his best to keep a straight face while he was with Mikasa but he knew his cheeks must have been red as a tomato. He sprinted to the bathroom to check his composer. Sure enough there was a light pink hue dusting his cheeks. 'Crap... If Mikasa saw that... Ugh!'

He slammed his fist against the wall.

'Stupid brat, has to be so... Perfect!' He looked at his reflection in the pristine mirror. His eyes where clear, not clouded by dark memories as they usually were, instead turning to a dark blue color instead of steel grey. The bags where less heavy, and his skin wasn't quite as pale. He felt rested, as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. The weight was small, nothing that he couldn't handle atop all the other shit that was his life, but it was still enough to grant him some release.

"What's wrong with me?" He asked to no one in particular, running a hand through his hair. His thoughts trailed off to Mikasa. The way the sunlight had dances across her skin like it did on freshly fallen snow, her full lips and dark eyes that pierced him so deeply. She swam through his thoughts like the fabled creature called mermaid, luring into what would only be impending doom. "This means nothing, we're just fucking to relieve stress."

He looked at his reflection again. He looked happy, brought back from the smoldering hell of the battlefield he faced everyday. It was because of her.

He smashed the glass with a tightly clenched fist.

'Damn shitty brat...'


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long wait. Spoilers for volume 1-7, you have been warned.**

**Moths**

**Ch 3: Tears**

Levi walked out of the bathroom, a small stream of blood trickling from his hand from shattering the bathroom mirror. It didn't hurt, but he knew he needed to clean it. In the kitchen, away from Mikasa, he cleaned and dressed the cuts.

'You're turning me into a hotheaded mess Ackerman...' He mentally scolded the woman. He sighed, leaning against the cabinet. "Stupid..."

He ran his hands through his hair, tension starting to spread throughout his body. Stress began to eat away at him, and with nothing to do (the house had been clean for hours) all he could think about was Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasa!

Again he felt like slamming his fists into something just to get the oriental girl out of his mind. Then he remembered he had brought a punching bag with him for training. Though he's never thought it would be under the current circumstances, he lifted the hundred pound bag over his shoulder with easy, went outside, and began punching away his problems.

As he trained, he began to think of other things, namely the consequences of what he and Mikasa were doing. 'If Erwin finds out there's no way he'll let us be on the same squad, and if she can't be on the same squad as her precious Eren, Mikasa will never forgive me.'

Remembering the Titan shifter, Levi stopped for a second. 'What does he mean to her anyway?'

Levi could remember all the times Mikasa would smile brightly when Eren walked in the room, the fire that glowed in his eyes when anyone tried to hurt him, they same look he had gotten after he beat the shit out of Eren. 'I was protecting him, they would have killed him if I hadn't stepped in... And besides it's not like she's in love with him, she can't be, he's like her brother... Then again...'

Levi let out a frustrated roar. "Why the fuck should I care! We're just fucking to relieve stress, nothing more! If she likes that little shit eater, who am I to stop her!?"

He brought his fist hard against the punching bag, causing it to flip over and snap the tree branch it was hanging from. His breath came out in heavy pants, and his rage only increased. 'Stupid Eren, stupid Mikasa, stupid me, stupid world, every thing is just so fucking stupid!'

Levi slumped against the tree and looked at the ground. A small ladybug crawled on a blade of grass before opening its papery wings and flying off.

"What's wrong with me?" Levi asked to himself, as if he already subconsciously knew the answer.

* * *

_"Levi will you be my boyfriend?" _

_Levi looked at the girl in front of him. She was part of squad E, someone who he hardly even knew. _

_He looked at her blankly. "Why?"_

_She blinked at him, not expecting the question. "B-Because I think I love you."_

_Levi scoffed. "You don't know me, and I certainly don't know you. How could you think you're in love with me?"_

_She looked down, dejected, but continued. "Because... Whenever I see you, I feel like my heart stops. When you're training I can't take my eyes off you, only watch the way you move so effortlessly. You're brave and strong, and you always help others. I know I'm not much, but is do anything, **anything**, for you."_

_Levi just shook his head. The girl got teary eyes before running off. Levi sighed. She wasn't the first one, there'd been many other girls, and even a few men, who's asked Levi to be there love, but he had always reflected them. 'Love is impossible in this cruel world.' That had always been his philosophy in the subject. _

_'I'm never going to fall in love.' _

* * *

"Nothing's changed since then." Levi glared at the ground. 'And even if it had I don't love Mikasa! We're just fucking for stress, just fucking for stress, JUST FUCKING FOR STRESS!'

He picked up the punching bag and decided it would be better to vent his frustrations in a different way, one less physical. Throwing the bag in the corner of the entry way, (then checking to make sure it hadn't left any dirt or scuffs) he made his way to the dinning room table, journal in hand. Sitting down he flipped through some of the pages, mindlessly reading entries.

Year 850, day 62

Today was boring. The squad and I took out 6 12-meter class titans, 2 of which were abnormal. No real information was gathered.

Year 850, day 93

While on a standard exploration expedition, Wall Rose was breached by the Colossal Titan, the wall was later fixed using the giant stone set up for just such an occurrence. The strangest fact of all was that it was done by a boy, one Eren Yeager, who is able to shift into a Titan. We are currently holding the boy in the dungeons until his trial.

Year 850, day 94

I had to kick his ass so he wouldn't be killed. Little shits tooth grew back though, so I don't really feel to bad, besides he's in my hands now, so I've got his entire Titan weight on my shoulders. My squads prepared to kill him if we need to though. There was one thing strange though... The girl I first saw after I saved him, she was glaring at me after I beat him. If looks could kill... Guess he's her boyfriend.

Year 850, day 102

Eren's been settling in at our new base, he's a shitty cleaner, but otherwise okay. The girl with the dagger stare is his adopted sister, not his girlfriend. When I asked him about it he scoffed, and said "she's just my sister, and not even a real one at that." I don't know why exactly, but it irked me the wrong way. In other news those two titans Hanji was keeping were killed, so far we haven't been able to find the culprit. We also had an incident with Eren where he couldn't transform, them he could... I don't really understand it but the squad was ready to kill him, I suppose that's good but I'm glad I was able to stop them. Oh, almost forgot, he said his "sisters" name was Mikasa... It's a nice name.

Year 850, day 105

After Erens first outing... My entire squad was killed... Eren nearly got kidnapped, and I was injured... Saving that Mikasa... Why did I do it, I knew it was gonna end badly for me, and she could've gotten out of it, barely... But my body just reacted... We'll catch the Female Titan, no matter what.

Year 850, day 106

Injured. Nothing done.

Year 850, day 107

Injured. Nothing done.

Year 850, day 108

Cleaned, then went to the training center. Mikasa was there.

Year 850, day 110

Went to the training center again, and Mikasa was there again. She looked over at me, and got this really guilty look... Guess she feels bad.

Year 850, day 111

Mikasa was at the training center again, she must go there every day. She came over to me today, and asked if I was okay. She still looks really guilty. I said I was and she should stop worrying. She said "I can't, it's not in my nature to not worry about the people I care about."

Then she walked away. What the hell did she mean by that?

Year 850, day 114

Mikasa asked me to spar today. She said she'd go easy on me. I showed her when I pinned her back against the ground two minutes into it. She looked at me with the most amusing face, shocked... And intrigued.

Year 850, day 115

Today we ate lunch together. It was odd because one she ate in the training center (she usually eats with Eren and Armin) and two her eyes where red. When I asked her if anything was wrong, she told me to fuck off. I couldn't get her sad face out of my head for the rest of the day.

Year 850, day 118

Mikasa's acting strange, she isn't fighting like she normally does. She's been eating with me the pass few days.

Year 850, day 120

I sparred with Mikasa today. She didn't put up a fight at first, lost 6 times in a row, it was pathetic, considering she's beat me 11 times (though I'm now up be 19). She finally started fighting for real when I said "No wonder Eren says you're weak." It was a lie, but it got her going. She had the fiercest look I'd ever seen, and when she was on top of me, fist clenched tight, tears pooling in those ebony eyes, I felt something other then the contact of her fist against my cheek.

Year 850, day 121

Mikasa seems back to normal after our sparring yesterday. It made me feel... Really happy to see her back to her old self... She even smiled.

Year 850, day 122

Mikasa thanked me today. She said she was sorry for punching me, and that she had needed someone to get her out of her mood. It made me feel good, proud of myself, thy I'd done that for her.

Year 850, day 123

Mikasa...

Year 850, day 125

Mikasa...

Year 850, day 129

Mikasa...

Year 850, day 134

Mikasa...

Mikasa... Mikasas... Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasa, Mikasa, MIKASA, MIKASA, MIKASA, MIKASAMIKASAMIKASAMIKASA!

Levi began to tear the pages out of the journal, ripping them into crumpled, speared shreds, until there was only one page left, on which he wrote in shaky letters.

TO FUCK WITH MIKASA!

* * *

Mikasa sat in the bed for a long while, listening to the heavy footsteps banging around the house.

"Just what is Levi doing?" She asked herself, getting up from the bed.

Just as she put her hand on the knob levi burst in, eyes dark.

"Levi what's going o-" she was cut of as he savagely kissed her, ripping her clothes off. "Wh-what are you-!"

"Shut up!" Levi roared, pushing her onto the bed. "This is just sex, nothing more! I don't care about you!"

The words bit into Mikasa like a titans teeth. Pain flowed throughout her body as well as the memories.

* * *

"_Eren... I love you... Not like a sister, but more." She had finally said it, confessed to the only person she had ever felt such a way for. He stared at her blankly before sighing._

_"Mikasa... Don't be stupid. I could never love you like that." In just those few words her entire world seemed to come crashing down on her._

_"B-But Eren... You're all I have..." Her chest seemed to be caving in on itself, pushing all the air out of her lungs and crushing her heart. _

_He groaned. "Mikasa don't make this harder then it is."_

_"B-B-But-"_

_"Enough Mikasa! I don't care about you! Not like you do me, so just leave me alone!" He walked off, as if nothing had happened, leaving her broken._

* * *

Tears flowed down Mikasas cheeks, tears she hadn't shed since their sparring match. She could remember how red her eyes were from lack of sleep and the restraint against crying.

"No one will ever love me." She whispered.

Levi stopped, hovering above her. He finally became aware that Mikasa was crying, attempting to block her face from his view. However the tears continues flowing, finally being released from a dam made purely of her strong will.

'What have I done... I don't want this.' Levi thought, gently spreading her arms. Mikasa turned her head away, trying to hide from him. She turned back when she felt a new liquid hit her cheek.

"I'm sorry..." Levi murmured, kissing away her tears. "I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Mikasa began to cry heavily again, sobbing into his neck as she wrapped at him.

"Please, don't let me go! Just stay like this with me, even if just for a second!" Mikasa begged. She could smell his essence intermingled with their combined tears. Forest, sweat, and sorrow made a scent all his own. He nodded into her hair, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her shaking body close to his.

Together they laid there for hours, crying into each other. Levi told her of all the loss, his family, his friends, his squad members. Ever titan he killed, multiplied by ten equaled the number of people he couldn't save. He told her of his past, his life as a common thug, and how Erwin had saved him from that wretched life.

In return Mikasa told him every pain she had ever felt. Losing her parents, losing her squad members loving Eren for so long but knowing he would never love her back. The guilt of having him hurt because of her.

They held each other, and as they embraced a bond began to form, even if they didn't know it yet.

**TBC**

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